I recently caught an episode of “All in the Family”, entitled “Edith Gets Fired.” It was about Edith Bunker working at the Sunshine Home for the Elderly. In this episode, Edith sat with a patient who had just returned from the hospital.  She told Edith, “You know what those terrible people did (at the hospital)? They kept me alive.  Why didn’t they just let me go? I’ve lived a good life.  Why can’t the end be good too?” Edith, replied, “I guess it ain’t up to us to decide them things.” The woman said, “God decides?” Edith replied, “Yeah.” The woman said, “God decided.  When I was in the hospital, God said, “It’s time.” Her husband waved and said, “I’m ready for you.”  She agonized, “I can’t even go to the bathroom by myself.”

Edith finally said, “Ain’t there something I can do for you?” The woman replied, “Just hold my hand, and don’t let go.” And the woman died.  Her son-in-law complained to the Home stating, “My mother-in-law is dead.  Why wasn’t something done to save her?” Her daughter had experienced a difficult time dealing with grief, decline, and death, and therefore didn’t visit her mother.  Edith didn’t call for help.  She respected this woman’s last wishes, despite any consequences.  This episode aired in 1979. I’d like to think we have come a long way in respecting the wishes of patients as hospice care has evolved over the years.  Unfortunately, all too often, we are still hearing stories of family members fighting to keep a loved one alive.  What they don’t understand is that there are worse things than death.  It is so much more compassionate to let a loved one die with dignity, on their own terms, than to keep someone alive.  We still have a mountain to climb, but we are definitely on the right path.